Zugzwang, Book II, Chapter 045
Chapter 045 – Turning revelation to understanding
Meanwhile, at the Jindai Botanical Garden tropical greenhouse and completely ignorant as to this highly illuminating exchange, Chiaki was attempting to set her paperwork to rights amidst the sounds of an early spring storm brewing outside. Self-reflection however proved to be a trying task when her mind was occupied.
Her uncle has paid her yet another discreet visit earlier that day with further demands for money and reiterated his threat. Once again, she had turned him away, informing him that she would not condescend to give him even a single yen. Despite the brave front she had affected, Chiaki had to admit to herself that her nerves were almost to pieces. She had answered her uncle with bravado. However, bravado would not serve to remove this blackmail problem. While sitting at her desk and staring at the reports of the tropical flower shrubs and their pollination patterns vis-à-vis their hybrid cousins, Chiaki was beginning to feel the vague sense of disquietude gnawing at her. The outlook of her present situation did look bleak and there seemed to be little hope that Arashi’s manager-san or Sora’s deputy commissioner cousin would be able to do much. The longer the situation dragged on, the more helpless she felt; and Chiaki did not enjoy feeling helpless. It seemed to her that there would be no expedient solution to her problem and the longer it dragged on, the further Sho would be implicated in it.
“Well then, the only logical solution is to remove Sho before he is implicated any further,” she thought while putting aside her papers and scrolling down the list of contacts on her mobile phone. To that end, she left the following message on his voice mail:
We need to talk. I’m at the Greenhouse in Jindai and will be here until I finish work.
It did not take Sho long to reply, for he had just finished his News Zero filming for the night. Upon receiving his message that he would be at the greenhouse in a snap, Chiaki exhaled slowly and slumped back in her chair, tossing her mobile phone aside. She convinced herself that it would be the most sensible thing to do under her current circumstances and that Sho would approve and indeed understand it in time. But for now, it would be in his interest if she let him go.
On his part, Sho had sensed that something was amiss with his sensible and constantly logical Chiaki. She had always laughed at him and his friends without reservation. Lately however, she had appeared more distant to him, like she was troubled. Although the other members of Arashi would not put much stock in his observational skills, Sho had enough acuity to sense when something was out of the ordinary with Chiaki. He had observed her breathing had come to resemble sighs of thoughtful despair, and he did not like it. Due to his many commitments, he hesitated to enquire after her problems as he wanted to give them his full attention. Furthermore, he gave her some space because he did not want her to feel that he was pressurising her to confide in him. It seemed that the time for that shared confidence was now, and he hastened to make his way to the Jindai Botanical Garden.
Along the way, the dark clouds, thundering and lightning had given way to rain. Despite the threats of skidding over the road, Sho sped through traffic lights out of concern for Chiaki. Her voice had sounded curt and business-like. Was it an effect of the crackling storm in the skies above, or was it something more? Sho was perturbed by her usage of the ‘we need to talk’ line. He recalled that Chiaki had once told him that the line bothered her, so why was she using it now? Did it herald a break up, as that line usually did? Or was it a slip of the tongue because she was under so much stress and pressure that she needed someone to confide in? If that were the case, Sho felt more driven to get to her as quickly as possible. It was not his mode of operation to allow anyone he cared for (be they family or friend) to sink into the doldrums. His botanist had always been there for him in all his troubles and work related stress issues; it was time he repaid her patience by being there for her.
As with all individuals of the mindset that he or she was about to embark on a journey at the point of no return, the director of the Jindai tropical collection mentally rehearsed what she would say to her boyfriend when he arrived. It would be folly to mince words, so she decided she would go straight to the point.
Lulled by the sounds of the raindrops, Chiaki roused herself to strengthen her resolve by heading outside for some fresh air. To her mind, having a ‘we need to talk’ conversation with Sho in the open instead the confines of the greenhouse would be conducive to better understanding. When she ventured out of her greenhouse, the burst of rain halted as suddenly as it had begun. Spring showers were always the same in her experience – they came quickly, suddenly and without warning; and in so doing, they brought the smell of hope and renewal with them. As a scientist, Chiaki knew the exact composition of anions and cations and their impact on certain centres of the brain. Accordingly, she did not allow herself to be swayed by the false impression of hope lighting dimly in her mind.
The sounds of her footsteps crunched over the gravel as she pondered what her next step ought to be after calling off matters with Sho? Would it be easier to deal with her uncle on her own? Or could she rely on Sora’s cousin for assistance in the matter? She did not know, and the uncertainty depressed her. For all her life, Chiaki had always approached every aspect of her existence with a single-minded and logical methodology – she knew what she had to do to get to where she wanted to be and she would go ahead and do it. However, at the present juncture in her life, she was buttoned into a corner. For the first time, she found herself in the position whereby she knew what she wanted and where she wanted to be but was completely in the dark as to how she could obtain the end result she desired.
Pacing across the gravel path, she heard the sounds of a lone vehicle sputter into the grounds of the botanical garden. The vehicle screeched to a halt some distance away from her and the driver emerged from it, pressing a button to lock the doors. The distinct crunch-stomp-crunch on the gravel alerted Chiaki to the identity of the new arrival, who she knew had seen her. Yet, she deigned not to turn around. She needed a little more time to compose herself; and she believed the time it would take for him to walk to her would be ample enough for her to school her features into their usual forms.
Hearing the sounds on the footsteps, Chiaki momentarily forgot her troubles as the person steadily approached. Sho, long used to the sounds of his own footsteps, called out to her, “Did one of your hybrids die or catch a plant disease, wifey?”
These words brought her back to earth with a sudden jolt that he did not know her true motivations for requesting an audience. Briefly, she toyed with the idea of telling him the whole truth, but the thought that he may decide to cut himself from her on learning about her uncle’s demands held her back. If he was going to call things off between them, she might as well do so first and minimise the pain. Therefore Chiaki shrugged in her light down coat and nervously said on turning around, “Things have happened. We cannot see each other any more.”
“Why? What’s the matter? Is it your mother? Has something happened to her? Is it money? We’ll work something out. Why break up when we don’t know why… when I don’t know why?” sputtered Sho in a single breath as strode beside her.
“Things have happened,” Chiaki repeated nervously.
He took her hand in a warm, protective clasp. But she drew it away and retreated a few steps, seeking desperately for a logical explanation that would result in Sho leaving her to sink or swim in her problem.
“Things have become complicated,” she managed to pronounce at last.
“I’m with JE. Things are always complicated,” he responded in the same quiet tone she had used, wondering whether she was in trouble or whether she was pregnant. He had always taken the usual precautions, but even those weren’t completely foolproof. “I remembered we said we would talk everything over before making a decision as we were alike in desiring a two-way communication.”
“Were we discussing communication?” she asked doubtfully, eyeing him suspiciously.
“We exchanged views on that when we first knew of Ohno’s little artist,” Sho reminded her.
This recollection not unnaturally silenced her. She had prided herself on her good sense, cool logic and sound judgement; she had assumed that less harm would befall Sho’s reputation if she cast him off. She had not expected him to request for her confidence. As she was thoroughly aware of the goodness with which Sho was showing her, she became more unnerved. But Sho, surely one of the calmest if not most puzzled man on learning that his lady wished to end things with him, was adamant that he should get to the root of Chiaki’s sudden call for a break up. Leaning back lightly on one of the wet panels of glass, he watched her frowning face in the dim moonlight. Chiaki, however, was scarcely aware what else she could say to him. She was vaguely aware that breaking up with Sho with no good explanation was a difficult task. The impropriety of not telling him the truth and her rationale for the necessary end to their relationship now filled her with repugnance. With her usual clarity of thought, she realised that in not owning to the truth, she was treating Sho shabbily, so shabbily that she doubted he would forgive her much less continue to regard her with any iota of affection – friendly or otherwise. At this melancholic turn of thought, a sob unconsciously escaped her.
Sho, who had been watching her expression carefully, immediately draped an arm over her shoulder. “What is it, Chiaki?”
“My uncle… my mother’s brother…” She covered her face with her hands to hide the flushing in her cheeks. “He has been an odious creature, blackmailing mother and me for money with the threat that he would expose us to the press. I approached your manager on the matter and he said he would look into matters. Things seem helpless because your manager has been unable to find any leads, and my uncle…I have not agreed to pay, but mother has paid a small fortune already, and with each denial, my uncle’s threat to expose us to the press looms ever closer. While your manager assures me that he will look into things, I cannot foresee your employment agency looking kindly on you if there should be scandal. And I do not wish to see scandal attached to your name. I can’t conceive of it looking on you with favour if the matter should come to light. All things considered, I decided that my proper course was to break up with you and minimise any credibility to the potential scandal. I made up my mind earlier and without further loss of time, I asked to see you. You now know of the extenuating circumstances.”
At this, Sho roused himself to face her, a look of astonishment on his face. His first instinct was to rant and pull at his hair, but doing so would only alarm her. Accordingly, he groaned and shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have let you go through this alone if I had known! My father is somebody; we can work things out. You could have told me! We could have discussed what we should do.”
“But the scandal that would break out! Think about your employment agency!” she exclaimed insistently.
“I can’t stand behind you and let someone – relative or not – blackmail you!” he ventured in frustration at his inability to allay her fears and in anger at the absent uncle.
He stood bolt upright and attempted to reassure her. When she continued her protests that it would be better for him if they broke up and proved the potential scandal false, Sho grimaced in exasperation. He did not and could not understand why his girlfriend believed him to be a spineless fool. While he appreciated and understood her reasoning, he staunchly felt that it would have been more appropriate if he had been a man about things and shielded her from the unpleasantness of her uncle and his lunatic blackmail scheme. Instead, he found her insistently demanding that she would bear the brunt of whatever followed while he went out of the picture.
Increasingly fed up with that mode of thought, touching though it may be, Sho quickly took both her hands, and without warning, knelt on one knee. “Marry me. I’ll stand by you in this,” he said in an urgent whisper.
“Don’t joke! This is hardly the time! We were talking about a blackmailer who could expose us and ruin your career as a member of your employment agency!” Chiaki reasoned, drawing her hands away.
He took her daunting revelation with a surprising degree of composure, realising that the extemporaneous nature of the proposition must have shocked her. He had surprised himself too, and he had not counted on proposing; he did not even have a ring at the ready. But he felt that the situation demanded it if Chiaki was to be made to see that he would not leave her in the lurch. He attempted to reassure her by merely replying, “This is a bona fide offer. Nakahara Chiaki, marry me and we’ll weather this storm together.”
“There will be a scandal if word gets out!”
“Not if you’re my wife,” he pleaded, taking her hands once again.
Chiaki froze on the spot as all the implications of the proposition dawned on her. His soothing assurance that he would share the burden brought to the fore the sinister significance of her blackmailing uncle, and she turned a frightened face to him. “This is lunacy!”
“Iya, I’ll protect you as my wife. Marry me.”
“Sakurai Sho!” she exclaimed in exasperation when she freed one hand. Placing it akimbo on her hip, she regarded him out of appraising and doubtful eyes as she tried to pull him up with a hand. “Get up!”
“Eh?” he let out, his voice strangled as he followed her direction and rose.
Chiaki cast him a stern, disapproving look and extracted a handkerchief from her pocket which she then used to spread over the damp gravel. “It rained earlier! Your trousers were getting wet. Now, that’s better. You may resume if you insist.”
“Was that a yes?”
“I didn’t say no.”
“What will I do without my practical, sensible Chiaki!” Sho said, smiling as he took her into his arms and kissed her soundly.
“What will we do about the potential scandal and my maternal uncle?” she sighed, resting her cheek on his shoulder.
“We’ll think of something; manager-san will have something. You’ve done the right thing in apprising him of matters. But I’m still in the dark about the details. Come, wifey,
we will grab a bite and you can fill me in,” he suggested, hooking her hand on his elbow and leading her towards the car. “Tell me everything.”
