Zugzwang, Book II, Chapter 038
Chapter 038 – Tête-à-tête
While the potential misunderstanding that could have arisen between Aiba and Renée-Caroline was temporarily averted, the same could not be said for the relationship between Ohno and Kaoru. The CEO of the Umebayashi Corporation was still as determined as ever to drive a wedge between them, not out of any deep rooted hatred for Kaoru whom she acknowledged was a sweet young woman, but out of a carefully crafted plan to induce Ohno to return to her. In the current stage of her plans, she would have to have a tête-à-tête with the artist to gently ‘persuade’ the younger woman to release Ohno from his bonds to her.
Completely ignorant of the fact that Umebayashi Saeko had requested her secretary to free up her schedule for such a purpose, Kaoru went to Geidai the following morning after the arrival of Renée-Caroline’s parents in Japan.
As she knew nothing of Saeko’s plans or of Aiba’s very silly and sorry error of having golf instructions instead of picking up Renée-Caroline’s parents, Kaoru arrived at her art studio in Geidai in high spirits. She was still contemplating the offer from the Saatchi Gallery and to that end, had redoubled her artistic efforts on four new pieces which she worked on simultaneously. Unknown to her, trouble was brewing and it would be as murky as the swirls of paint she was trying to mix on her palette. She was too busy concentrating on her art to dwell on her private unhappiness that her fiancé had chosen not to confide in her. To her, art was her escape.
Art did not lie, and it provided solace for her thoughts. Kaoru did most of her thinking whilst sketching, painting and dabbling in photography. It was her unshakeable belief that art was a reflection of life writ small. She believed that art dealt with everything to do with humanity because she felt the constituents of an artwork mirrored the composition of life. It was as Ohno once told her – working with clays and drawing helped him to draw his sensitivity to pains and pleasures of everyday modern life. Because art frequently engaged in the visual senses, Kaoru believed that it engaged the mind and encouraged the brain to reflect and to contemplate the meaning of everything that a person would experience in life. In this respect, Kaoru thought like Alys, whom she had come to think of as her older sister because they placed the same value on reflection and thought. Indeed, her latest series of art pieces were inspired by online conversations she had with Alys on Enlightenment philosophical thought. Accordingly, the art pieces and her set of preliminary sketches were in turns playful yet ironic, leading her dissertation supervisor, Dr Toyomi Hoshina, to declare that the latest evolution in her artistic vision was the most thought-provoking yet.
These were her thoughts as she picked up her brush and worked quick, broad strokes over the canvas. She was proud of her latest series. The pieces were as yet untitled, but they thematically depicted everything that was right with the world in shadows, and everything that she thought was wrong in the light. Toyomi sensei told her that it was disturbing and would draw attention to her work. However, she was unconcerned with that. Art was her mode of catharsis and as long as she could express herself, she was happy with herself. At the moment, she was more concerned with how her fiancé was doing. She had not heard from him since he informed her that he would be occupied with his play and that she could pick up tickets for the closing performance when she visited his mother. He had seemed disappointed when she said she would be unable to attend the opening night performance, but he quickly recovered to say that he would reserve tickets for the closing night so that she could see him. Kaoru had been so occupied with her art that the last time she saw him, they had discussed the plot of his play and she had given him preliminary sketches of a few background scenes which he assured her he would bring to the attention of the set designer. That was a fortnight and a half ago, and as far as she knew, he was hard at work and so was she. It was the way things should be, she reflected, changing another brush for more intricate strokes on the canvas.
She was so wrapped up in these thoughts and her painting that she failed to notice the very presentable form of a well-dressed female declining one of her classmates’ escort and entering the art studio.
This newcomer stopped to shut the door behind her and took her time to inspect the various art work, all of which she acknowledged to be nearly first rate. When she realised that the artist had paid no heed to her, she was ticked off. How could anyone ignore her when she was now one of the leaders of the business world? But the feeling of infuriation gave way in the end as she recalled that Kaoru was very nearly deaf. She had heard the warnings from one of the other Geidai students that Morimoto senpai disliked turning on her hearing aid while she worked, and Saeko could see that it was true. There was something infinitely charming about a person who could be so enveloped in a task as to lose himself or herself in it completely.
Despite that one charitable thought, Saeko was there on business, she could not dally in what she deemed to be the idle pursuits of the artisan class. She had not realised, owing to her pettiness and meanness, that the very object of her desire – the hapless Ohno, belonged to this same artisan class as well. But such was Saeko’s nature. She had swept into Geidai with only one thought – to snip off the unwanted thread cleaving to Ohno. She had gone to Geidai that morning for the express purpose of tauntingly laying out the disparities between Kaoru and Ohno in the hope of inducing the younger woman to give him up.
“We meet at last, Morimoto-san,” she said with a civil nod as soon as she touched the artist on her shoulder.
Caught unawares, Kaoru dropped her brush and stared at the intruder who looked back at her haughtily. Gesturing politely for the CEO of the Umebayashi Group to sit, Kaoru carefully moved her easel nearest to her completed pieces from which she drew her strength and courage and twisted her lips into a semblance of a smile. She knew with a sinking heart without being told what Saeko had come for, but she was desperate to avoid the inevitable. Accordingly, she took her time to pour out some green tea from a flask which she offered to her would-be interlocutor and with a final pursing of her lips, turned on her hearing aid.
“Regardless as to how much she frightens you, you mustn’t show that you’re afraid,” she reminded herself whilst lowering the easel to a height from which she could sit and paint.
“How kind of you to see me when you’re so busy, Umebayashi-san,” Kaoru said aloud with an angelic smile, surprising herself at her ability to keep the fear and misery away from her voice. Taking up her brush again, she sat down facing Saeko in a low chair with her knees stuck up close to her chest. She would have not assumed that unladylike posture had she not been trying so hard to keep her rage in check. Whatever others may believe, the gentle Kaoru did possess a mighty rage. It was not the kind practised by Sora whereby threats of dastardly retaliation would be roared; neither was it the kind Alys practiced whereby physical pain was meted out to others so as to dull her own pain. No, Kaoru could never bring herself to forget propriety completely, and if not for the perceptibly tightened grip on her brush or the drawing down of her delicate brows towards her nose, the observer would not have known that she was inwardly seething.
“Do you wish to commission a piece?” Kaoru ejaculated before Saeko could begin. “Or do you wish to talk about Satoshi-kun? That is what you’re here to talk about, isn’t it? Please say what you have to say and you may get on with your busy life.”
The soft vehemence of her words startled Saeko who had expected the artist to be a spiritless and meek creature. All the reports she had gathered on the artist had proclaimed her to be quiet and unfailingly good so much so that she never said an unkind thing about anyone. Saeko had certainly not expected this, and she was a little alarmed by this unprecedented outburst from Kaoru.
“Return him to me,” said Saeko with great affability as she plucked at the folds of her skirt.
“Sorry?” exclaimed Kaoru as she dabbed more paint onto the canvas, hoping that she had misread the direct request on the CEO’s lips.
Saeko’s eyes narrowed to mere slits and she stared across at the painter. “Return Ohno Satoshi to me,” she repeated, carefully enunciating each syllable.
Two spots of colour appeared on the artist’s cheeks as she tightened her grip on the brush to quell her anger. She smiled blandly at the request as if it were an art session where the subject had arrived late for a sitting. If Saeko wanted a skirmish as the rest of the Arashi princesses thought she did, Kaoru would give her one. “I did not know he belonged to you. Satoshi-kun is himself, is he not? If he belongs to anyone, it would be his parents. Did you buy him from them?”
“What can you give him? I can build his career, bring him to greater heights, and bring the pick of the entertainment industry. Can you do that?” Saeko smiled, not very pleasantly, waiting for the younger woman’s capitulation.
Kaoru was determined to maintain her peace and calm as much as Saeko was determined to tear those things from her, and thus, she only schooled her features into a mask of polite interest, “No, but I think I understand how you see him. You look at him and you see him and you see lights, money, investments and a lot of other things I don’t fully understand. I look at him and I see only him.”
“You’re as blind as you are deaf,” retorted Saeko angrily.
“Iye, I see moderately well, thank you,” Kaoru smiled cordially, letting the insult about her near deafness slide. “Do you want Satoshi-kun to be unhappy? He will be unhappy if he is bound to you. You will want him all to yourself and you will strive to keep him by your side. He will indubitably want to be free to be himself, but due to his deference to your wishes, he swallows his pride and subverts his spirit to your will. He will become paler, thinner and miserable. When you see him in such a condition, you would be unhappy too. That is not very nice at all. Everyone will be so very unhappy.”
Saeko reddened and crossly went over to the window. “What will your nice way of looking him get him? Will it make him a bigger success? Will you bring him to the top of his profession? I will do these things for him because I care. If he stays with you, you will hold him back! I can see the way for him; you can’t see beyond this.” She made a dismissive gesture at the art pieces in the studio.
“Umebayashi-san experiences life with all five senses; I make do with only four. But we are more alike than you know, don’t you think?” Kaoru commented, returning to her painting.
“How is that possible! We want different things for him!” came the sudden retort, anger swamping her face.
“Art, like business, objectifies people. Everyone we meet is a representation or appearance that imprints itself in our heads. I know about art like you know about business through what I see, taste, smell, touch and hear. These five senses prints things in our minds like a photo image captured on film, don’t you see? If we take away all the five senses, we will have no direct access to reality anymore because we only see and feel the world around us through these representations. Because these representations are images we have of the external world – images that I use in art and images that you use in business dealings with other people, maybe we don’t really know the external world. We know that there’s a reality out there somewhere, but all we get is an image of that reality. That’s why we’re alike…” Kaoru broke off artistically and made a moue with a discontent with her mouth. “But we differ because you see Satoshi-kun like someone you do business with; you love him but you also love what he can bring in for you – money, royalties, profits, business deals, endorsements, technological advancement, business mergers and collaborations. I see only him. Maybe it’s because I’m only using four senses instead of five.”
Watching Saeko straighten herself, Kaoru knew the arrow struck had home. Nearly three years acquaintance with Alys and discussing philosophy with her had paid off, she thought, but the conversation was far from over and she could not afford to let her guard down.
Saeko abandoned the threatening attitude she had adopted and became more conciliatory, though no less alert. She paid a call on Kaoru to see her humbled, and she would do everything to ensure that she succeeded. “We were talking about Ohno-kun’s happiness here, not the way you do art, and not the way I do business.”
Persisting in holding her ground, Kaoru blithely pointed out, “But happiness is about moving towards what we desire and away from what we have an aversion to. And right now, I am very unhappy talking to you. It’s not you, you understand, Umebayashi-san. But would you mind leaving.”
Saeko inwardly writhed at this dismissal. No one had dared treat her in this fashion. She swooped down for her bag and glared coldly at the artist. “Will you return him to me or won’t you?”
Narrowing her eyes in response, Kaoru leaned forward towards her canvas and clenched her hands tightly in her lap. “That is a question for Satoshi-kun, don’t you think?” she pronounced with deceptive indifference.
Without another word, Saeko swept out as suddenly as she had entered the art studio, leaving a quaking Kaoru to fall from her chair and onto the floor, her overwrought nerves finally giving way. As she burst into quiet tears, she knew instinctively that Saeko would probably go to Ohno and demand that he make a definitive choice. But how could he? He was irresoluteness itself; he could not be expected to make a decision if it meant someone would be hurt. It wasn’t how he liked to do things and Kaoru was well aware of that. She cried even harder when she erroneously pinned the blame on herself. She had only wanted him to be happy and to be himself but she believed she had hurt him and made him miserable with everything she tried to do and tried not to say. Perhaps that was why he would not confide the Saeko problem to her; perhaps that was why she had to hear of the twists and turns of this dimension from the other ladies. The more she thought on it, the more Kaoru grew convinced that so long as she chose to cleave to him, she would be the cause of his alienation from his friends, the cause of his broken pride and the destruction of his inner peace.
She needed some distance from this, she abruptly realised as she dried her tears. It was a happy coincidence that he was busy with his stage play. He wouldn’t notice that she was starting a new project. Toyomi sensei had been suggesting that she should undertake something new, and it would be a rare honour for her works to be considered and displayed at the Saatchi Gallery. Yes, she decided firmly, she would do that. She would start a new art project for the sole purpose of accepting the invitation from the Saatchi Gallery in Britain. She would throw herself into her art, work on at least six additional new pieces, and launch her career into the commercial art world. It would serve to keep her occupied – so occupied that she would not be in a position to wreck his pride, self-respect, life, integrity, career, and inner peace. Yes, she would do just that.
